SquidRoad

Does thinking make your head hurt?

A few years ago, I had one of those Aha! moments.

This one was a sinker: I realized I hadn't done any real, deep thinking in awhile. The kind that hurts. That kind that makes you struggle deep down inside, argue in your own head...so, naturally, it gives you a headache.

Now...it seems deep thinking is all I do. It's good--great, even. Just a little exhausting. Lots of headaches.

In terms of the online space, I've been trying for sometime to figure out what I really want to talk about as a blogger, or where I can make a contribution that's meaningful. My work is nonprofit. I work for an international org...spent years on the international side, in fact. I'm a marketing communications girl with a whole lot of interests.

While attending the NTEN Nonprofit Technology Conference several months ago in Atlanta, I was telling some friends how, when I used to travel extensively, I felt safer traveling nearly anywhere else abroad than here in the US. Got a very puzzled look and a load of disbelief.

It's true, for the most part. I mean, there are definitely cities where you feel stalked if you don't look like everyone else, but honestly, that happened maybe 1% of the time. And closer to home than you think.

But I digress....kind of.

There are two main things I've learned in my work:

1. The human race -- we're all the same. We want the same things--to belong, to be loved, to make life better for our kids than we had it. Everywhere, it is the same.
2. International work is hard. It is supremely rewarding, just incredibly complex.

So I've decided to attempt to write, at least some, about working across cultural lines. Not that there aren't people much more expert than I...believe me, there are many. But I can speak to my own experience struggling with the same things any international NGO works through--making a real difference in the lives of others...and making that difference mean something to the person who supports the cause.

On the nonprofit side, this is where I'll start. Wish me luck.

If I get anywhere near my target, it'll feel like a homerun.

Focus, focus

Being down this week with a mysterious crud that hijacked my voice has left me, to say the least, feeling a bit discombobulated. (That is a big word that took numerous re-writes just now.)

So while I've been trying not to get more sick, I've also been trying to keep up with work. It was exhausting physically, but it forced me to be out of the office a few days.

And that was a very good thing.

Distance does wonders for perspective, for figuring out the state of things and being able to see the big picture as a road map of sorts for where you need to go next.

My reading/research time is so disjointed these days, I haven't had much time to assimilate things I learn into discreet ideas. And life just isn't the same w/o my NetNewsWire. I simply don't read or absorb as many new ideas as I used to. Aaarggh! I thrive on ideas, so it's like a part of me is missing.

In any case, I may have to try to patch it all together here. Reader, beware: UNDER CONSTRUCTION. :)

It's time to get regular again

And I don't mean with Activia.

I've struggled lately with whether to start writing again...really writing or blogging, not just microblogging. But my brain just doesn't hold it. I'm an ideas person, and these days my head is vomiting this stuff up. It's really not all that cool. It's more like torture. It seriously limits my attention span.

Ask my husband: I'm obsessed with Twitter. 

You see, I get a little OCD with technology. Typically an early adopter (read: "geek"), I held off on Twitter for, what, two years? Went running straight into the iPhone's AT&T hell, however. Love the phone, hate the service. Bang head on wall. Fall down with bloody head. Get back up. Repeat.

It's just that, Twitter's different. I'm an information hound, and I love to share what I read and learn. I like to connect dots between things. For me, Facebook is a little too up-close and personal. Honestly, as a pastor's kid, my life was lived in front of scorecards. People always had something to say about what I was doing, wearing, eating, who I was dating. I really don't miss it that much, and I don't need to remanufacture it on Facebook.

I guess what it comes down to is this: Facebook is for friends; Twitter is for strangers. 

Better put: Facebook is for people you met before 'friending' them online. Twitter is for people you probably have never met until following them or being followed by them online.

Guess that means I prefer strangers. (My MBTI profile suggests I have "friends on the side." Go figure.)

You can't care too much

Or you'll never get anywhere. I am finally coming to terms--walking my own talk, really--that you can't care about what you do so much that you sell your soul, that you lose yourself and become something you're not. Or, worse yet, keep from becoming all you can be. I've officially entered a season of re-evaluation--of where I am today and where I'm going. And I'm not going to wait around for anything anymore, hoping my potential gets noticed where I'm at. It's time to sell it.

A picture can tell 1,000 words; sound tells more

I'm sitting in my second day of the Nieman Narrative Conference on Journalism @ Harvard. It's also my second time here in Boston for this event, which is definitely an in-the-trenches look at increasing forms of narrative storytelling.

The difference this year from the one in 2004 is that a new track on digital storytelling has exploded w/lots of topics, interest and participants. It's evident to me how traditional print media still is, with a very late adoption of technology.

My biggest takeaway so far is that you can use any kind of media you bring back from field reporting, and make something even better from it. Just depends on the strength of story from the different types of media gathered.

Is your sound better than images? Use it in a podcast. Is the sound OK, but images better? Mash 'em up and produce an audio slideshow. If they're both strong and add value you can run a web story, inserting audio as a standalone component in one spot, photos in another.

The example at left is a great way to use all the media you have for a project--well, ok, the best portions of it--and putting the strongest components where they will make the greatest impact.

Fun stuff that confirms for me that where we're headed at my work is right on track for where content is going in terms of being maximized.

Ahhhh....I can go home now.

It's 3:05am and I could do, oh, any number of things

Several come to mind, but only one (maybe two) will bring me sleep.

Let's see, there's:
1. Toss and turn and torture myself by just trying
2. Eat a bowl of cereal
3. Pray
4. Write
5. Cry from sheer fatigue

I made the mistake of falling asleep on the couch around 11 last night. Woke up around 12:45, brushed my teeth and made my way to bed. And I've pretty much been awake ever since.

First there was the headache, then the pre-REM brain race, where everything feels urgent and oppressive. And now I'm even more exhausted (and numb) than before.

What to do?

Here's my plan. Because I'm not prone to waking up in the middle of the night or not being able to go back to sleep, I'm going to do a brain dump by doing a little writing first. Ask my my creative buddies, and they'll tell you I'm creatively constipated right now. Maybe tonight's the laxative, who knows...

Then I'm going to pray. I'm also not prone to waking in the middle of the night and doing that. But it has happened once before, a few yrs ago, when there was no way to sleep but to pray first. Don't ask me why, but I'm convinced I was awakened specifically to pray. And, honestly, since that night, my entire perspective on prayer, waiting on God, and discerning open doors has been different.

Tonight, what's kept me up is my racing mind. Lots of things are going on where I work--exciting changes, really, with lots of potential for new opportunities and challenges and growth. Bringing it all into order is another thing however.

But that pre-REM stage...it can bring you either destructive or brilliant ideas. Thank God mine crossed over from the former to the latter in the last hour or so. The world was about to end, then, Sha-ZAM! Brilliant. Amazing. Possible catharsis.

Now to give them some legs. So...I've gotta go now and do my brain dump and then pray. And then sleep.

Flat Stanley: In town for a limited time only

A friend of ours has a son, Colt, whose class in school is trying to send this little paper figure off to interesting places. Since they knew I travel a lot as part of my work, they sent one to me.

Meet Flat Stanley.

Part of Flat's mission is to go to as many interesting places as possible.

I am a deadbeat friend--I've only remembered so far to take him out for sushi on Friday. I think Flat's as excited about my new favorite, the White Tiger Roll, as I am!

He was supposed to come along as a cheerleader to my match today, but someone (I won't mention any names, Mikey) forgot to fold him up and pack him in. His loss--Flat missed a hot match.

So off to work he will go w/me tomorrow. Maybe I'll have him run a meeting or something. Yeah...

A time to learn

There's a time for everything, including a time for soaking up new ideas.

A huge curiosity has awakened in me during recent months, and I have not been quite sure what to do with it. Connecting with my heritage has always been important to me, especially after taking an elective history class at University of Houston about Mexican Americans in the U.S.

That led to extensive genealogical research of the Cabello surname--my father's family name. (It's easy to procrastinate on researching my mom's family name, Garcia...similar in its common-ness to "Jones" or "Smith.") Which in turn led to the launch of a bilingual greeting card business my brother and I started (long story), and that meant learning how to function at Latin events. So salsa dancing was next. And...and...and...

With my work, I've traveled a bit to Latin America, and my reading on it has added to a fresh desire to learn more about and explore my heritage. Now, it's time to look into all the options and discover what's next. Here's hoping it becomes clear before long!

S.N.O.W.: It's a four-letter word

I've been itching to write of late, but since again I have nothing nice to say, I haven't written anything at all. Until now.

Every Coloradan knows that even though snow is great for a good ride in the mountains, avalanches, chained tires and frostbite make crappy by-products of winter fun. I wonder how many people actually are in the mountains today skiing or snowboarding. Let me go check.

Um, nope. No one home. Then again, the lifts just opened at Vail (you can check the live cam yourself):

Ok, then there's Breckenridge...and the half-pipe on Peak 8. I think someone died here yesterday.

But you see what I mean? We just need a sense of hope that springtime will one day come. Yesterday was kind of that, except for the 6 inches of snow still in our yard. Today it's about 15F, or -11C. Brrrrrr.

If we're going to stay inside, we have plenty of work to do: work on the kitchen, work for work and some homework on stuff I'm thinking of studying.

There are only so many hours in Martin Luther King Day, but I'm a big girl. I think I can sort it out.

When all other things are equal...

...jetlag's not all that bad.

But when freak things happen in the middle of the night and it happens right at the time your body wants to be awake...look out. Life won't be pretty after that.

Have a seat over a glass of whine with me. Is it me or are these a little freakish?

• Last week on my work trip, my roommate received a hot work assignment while traveling that she had to complete before we even hit the 2nd morning of training. She started around 4am, right when my body preferred to be awake (we'd been there 2 days, so not entirely clicked in). I'd just been to the bathroom, so my body was slightly awake. Anyway...lights went on, A/C off. Click, click, click...till about 7am.
• Next night, her email was coming in all night on her phone, announcing its arrival with a little ringy-dingy or two. (I shoved her phone in a drawer and put on my headphones.) Finally, we both rested well and were fairly perky by end of week.
• Come home. Still clicking into time zone here...The power generator in our now-empty kitchen erupts this morning like a violent alarm clock...around 4am. So all appointments with sleep tonight are null and void. And now I'm hungry. (Funny, but the male gene didn't do much to activate my husband into swift action to turn the motor-monster off.)

OK...I think I feel better now. But a bowl of Cheerios will really get me over the hump.